Actress Gwyneth Paltrow says she knew her marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin was over while they were on holiday in Tuscany, three years before they would actually split.
Paltrow and Martin introduced the world to the term “conscious uncoupling in 2014, but according to Paltrow, a sojourn for her 38th birthday to the scenic Italian region convinced her that it was time to call it quits.
In an essay for British Vogue, the actress explored the setting of when she decided that it was indeed over for her and Martin.
“My ex-husband and I were tucked away in the Tuscan countryside, on a hill in a beautiful cottage with a view of the forest,” she wrote.
“Fall was coming; the leaves were just loosening their grip on bright green. Inside, the cottage was perfectly appointed in the way you dream of for a birthday trip: cosy living room with a fireplace, kitchen table overflowing with spoils from the farm nearby—peaches, tomatoes on the vine, basil, eggs. I don’t recall when it happened, exactly.
“I don’t remember which day of the weekend it was or the time of day. But I knew—despite long walks and longer lie-ins, big glasses of Barolo and hands held—my marriage was over.”
Despite their many shared interests, Paltrow said the couple was just never compatible as they wanted the public to believe. The actress and Martin had two children during a marriage that officially lasted for 13 years.
“(We) had always been friends. We laughed at the same things, shared a funny bones humor, impressions, utter silliness. We were moved by the same qualities in music: beautiful chords, innovation, harmonies. Peter Gabriel, Chopin, Sigur Rós — though I listened for pleasure and he like he was studying for an exam.”
Despite all the things they had in common, Paltrow wrote, they “never fully settled into being a couple. “We just didn’t quite fit together. There was always a bit of unease and unrest. But man, did we love our children.”
Conscious uncoupling, she wrote, did not always go as planned. The couple finalized their divorce in 2016, two years they paraded the term to the world.
“When we made a commitment to approach our separation this way, and about a year before we introduced the phrase to the world, we put it to the test. It was hit and miss.
“We had great days and terrible days. Days when we couldn’t stand each other, but forced ourselves to remember what we were aiming for. Somehow finding a way to smile and hug, and take the kids out for brunch like we had planned.”
